All i ever wanted was for Juli Baker to leave me alone.
我只希望朱莉 贝克能够离我远点
It all began in the summer of 1957,
一切开始于1957年的夏天
before the start of second grade.
一年级的暑假
It's cool. Uh, what color is my room?
真美 我的房间是什么颜色的呀
Let's see what's inside. Hey, come on, buddy Bryce.
咱们进去瞧瞧 嘿 布莱斯 过来
Why don't, uh, you and I go help unload the van...
咱父子俩把车上的东西搬下来吧
...and the womenfolk here can get in
让姑娘们进去
the kitchen and start setting up
收拾一下厨房
For me, it was the beginning of what would be...
对我而言 这意味着我步入了
...more than half a decade of strategic
长达五年的
avoidance and social discomfort.
人际逃避和社交不适的生涯
- hi, i'm Juli Baker. - hey, hey, what are you doing?
嗨 我叫朱莉 贝克 - 喂喂喂 你干嘛呢
Don't you want some help?
你们需要帮忙吗
No. there's some valuable things in there.
不必了 里面是些贵重物品
- how about this one? - no, no, no.
那这个呢？ - 不用了不用了
Why don't you run along home. your mother's probably wondering where you are.
你还是快些回家吧 你妈妈没准正在找你呢
Oh, no, my mom knows where i am. she said it's fine.
不会的 我妈妈知道我在哪 她没意见的
It didn't take long to realize
我立刻意识到
this girl could not take a hint.
这女孩太不识趣了
- it's crowded in here with three people. - i don't mind.
我们三个人在这有点挤吧 - 我不介意呀
- Of any kind. - you wanna push this one together?
- 一点眼色都没有 - 我们一起搬这个吧
Bryce, isn't it time for you to go help your mother?
布莱斯 你是不是该去给你妈妈帮忙了
I mean, nothing would stop her.
我真拿她没辙
I was about to tell her to get lost
我正想朝她发火时
when the weird thing happeed.
奇怪的事情发生了
I couldn't believe it.
我简直不敢相信
There I was holding hands with this strange girl.
我竟然牵了这个奇女子的手
- i see you've met my son. - uh-huh.
- 看来你已经认识我儿子了 - 是的
Finally, i did the only manly thing
最后 我祭出了积攒七年的
available when you are 7 years old.
所有雄性荷尔蒙
However, my troubles were far from over.
然而 我的麻烦还远未结束
The minute i walked into Miss Yelson's classroom...
当我走进叶尔森老师的教室时
Bryce? you're here.
布莱斯 你也在这儿啊
It was clear, school would not be a sanctuary.
显然 学校并不能让我脱离苦海
Hey, Bryce, where's your girlfriend?
嘿 布莱斯 你女朋友呢
I was branded for life.
我被贴上了各种标签
Hey, Bryce, why don't you ask her to marry you?
嘿 布莱斯 你为啥不向她求婚呢
Bryce and Juli sitting in a tree
布莱斯和朱莉坐上树梢
My first year in town was a disaster.
我搬来镇上的第一年简直就是一场灾难
And the next three weren't much better.
接下来的三年也是差强人意
But finally, in the sixth grade, i took action.
到了六年级 我决定做些什么
I hatched the plan.
于是我想出了一个计划
I asked out Sherry Stalls.
我决定追求雪莉 斯道尔
I was wondering if you wanted to go...
我想问问你愿不愿意
To full appreciate the brilliance of this plan...
这一招的绝妙之处在于
...you have to understand that Juli hated Sherry Stalls...
朱莉简直恨死了雪莉 斯道尔
...though i never understood why.
尽管我不知道个中缘由
Sherry was nice, friendly and she had a lot of hair.
雪莉貌美心善 秀发飘飘
At first, my mother wouldn't let me
一开始我妈一直不肯让我打耳洞
get my ears pierceed but I beg...
但我一直求她
The idea was that Sherry would eat with me...
我原计划和雪莉吃吃饭
...maybe we'd walk around together,
可能再散散步
and hopefully Juli would lose interest.
然后朱莉就会对我失去兴趣
But i still can't get the hoops till i'm 16.
但我16岁之前还是不能打耳洞
So melanie wanted to get her ears pierced,
米兰妮也想打耳洞
but of course her mother said no.
但她妈坚决不同意
So she threw a fit and smashed her
于是她就一怒之下
Johnny Mathis Greatest Hits albim
把约翰尼 马蒂斯的精选辑给砸了
...and she got grounded, so now she can't
然后她就被禁足了
come to my pajamaat sleepover party.
连我的睡衣派对都来不了
Things were unfolding quite nicely.
事情进展的不错
What are you doing for your science project?
你的科学实验准备怎么做
That is, until my supposed best friend, Garrett Einbinder...
直到我所谓的挚友 加利特埃恩德
...took an interest in Sherry himself.
打起了雪莉的主意
I was thinking of showing how split ends
我想展示护发素
react with different being poisoned?
是如何修复头发分叉的
That's fascinating.
这主意真棒
Loyalty gave way to desire and garrett, the turncoat...
加利特这个重色轻友的叛徒
...told Sherry what i was up to.
告诉了雪莉 我接近她的目的
She didn't take it well.
她很生气
Word got back to Juli, and pretty soon she
至于朱莉 她很快
started up with the the google eyes again?
又开始视奸我
Only this time it was worse.
但这次她更过分了
She started sniffing me.
她开始嗅我的味道
That's right, sniffing me.
没错 嗅
What was that all about?
这是在搞什么
My only consolation was that next year would be different.
我唯一的期盼便是来年的毕业
Junior high, bigger school.
等我上了初中
Maybe we'd be in different classes and
或许我们就不会在一个班了
it would finally,finally be over
到时一切都将结束
The first day i met Bryce Loski, i flipped.
见到布莱斯 洛斯基的第一眼 我便心动了
It was those eyes, something in those dazzling eyes.
他的眼眸让我深陷其中
You wanna push this one together?
我们一起搬吧
His family had just moved into the neighborhood...
当时他家刚搬到我家隔壁
...and i'd gone over to help them.
我过去帮他们搬东西
I'd been in the van all of two minutes
我才在卡车里待了两分钟
when his dad sent him off to help his mther
他爸爸就让他去帮他妈妈
I could see he didn't wanna go.
我看得出来他并不想去
So i chased after him to see if we could
所以我追了上去
